Tuesday, 10 February 2015

How to be a pet

Deal with teachers / boss the same way :

Fly around them like a bee. Just don't sting them.
Buy them breakfast, lunch, dinner (collect money unless you are feeling rich)
Serve them coffee, tea, water (just don't serve yourself. Unless you can fit into a cup)
Do your work sloppily to get 100% of their attention
Or you can work diligently and be ignored (because they tend to ignore the diligent but focus on the rebellious)
Sit on floor, table, on their lap (as long as it isn't the chair, you will get their attention somehow)
Walk slow because if you walk fast, they will miss you and they won't be bothered to run to catch up with you
Prepare a dictionary of the cheesiest lines you can think of so that you can clog their arteries and make them like u like they like fast food
Compliment everything single thing about them. Their language. Their grammar. Their wardrobe. Their car. Their hair. Their eyes. Their shoes. Everything you can see, just compliment it.
Report to them once you see them coming in. Go in front of them and wag your tail and stand there till they give you your treat.

Well not all teachers and bosses like this method. Apply appropriate amount of the above for best response.

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